Chapter 4 - The Son She No Longer Recognized
I had never seen Mthente look so helpless.
He stood a few feet from his mother, his breathing uneven.
The woman who'd given birth to him was asking him to become her killer.
And the worst part was that she seemed to believe he was capable of doing it.
“I'm your son, Ma,” he whispered.
She looked away.
“You've killed other people's children.”
He flinched.
“Or should I call you Mthente now?” she continued. “Is that the name you use when you do those things?”
He stared at the ground.
I knew his past was terrible.
But watching his mother confront him made me understand how deeply his choices had wounded people who had never participated in his crimes.
“That isn't who I am anymore,” he said.
His mother shook her head.
“I don't want another promise.”
“Please listen.”
“I've listened for years.”
He stepped closer.
“I'm leaving that life behind. I've earned my certificates. I'm starting a legitimate business. I'm trying to become someone better.”
She laughed once, without amusement.
“And what should I do? Celebrate?”
“That's not what I'm asking.”
“What are you asking, Tusa?”
He hesitated.
Then his voice cracked.
“One chance, Ma. Just one chance to show you I can change.”
She stared at him.
“I gave you chances when you were fourteen. I gave you chances when you were sixteen. I gave you chances when the police first came looking for you.”
Mthente lowered his eyes.
“I stood outside police stations. I visited schools. I begged people to help you.”
“I'm sorry.”
“You're always sorry.”
I couldn't remain silent any longer.
I stepped into the yard.
“Ma, please.”
They both turned toward me.
“I know this isn't my place, but you can't ask your son to hurt you.”
Her expression hardened.
“This is between me and my son.”
“I understand.”
“No, my child. You don't.”
I hesitated.
“I love him, Ma. I've seen how hard he's trying.”
She studied me.
“How long have you known him?”
“It hasn't been very long.”
She nodded slowly.
“Then you know the man who smiles at you. I know the boy who kept breaking his mother's heart.”
Her words hurt because I couldn't deny them.
I had seen Mthente at his most protective.
She had seen him at his most destructive.
“I don't blame you for loving him,” she continued. “But love doesn't erase what he's done.”
Mthente covered his face with both hands.
“Ma, please don't do this.”
She looked at him.
“Do you know how many nights I've slept with my phone beside my pillow?”
He remained silent.
“Every time it rang after dark, I wondered whether someone had killed you. Or whether you'd killed somebody else.”
His shoulders began trembling.
“I never wanted you to suffer.”
“But I did.”
She paused.
“And your sister suffered too.”
Something shifted in Mthente's expression.
He slowly lowered his hands.
“Don't bring Lindiwe into this.”
His mother stepped forward.
“Why not?”
“Please.”
“She loved you, Tusa.”
“I know.”
“She believed she could save you.”
Mthente turned away.
His mother spoke again, her voice now trembling.
“And when she needed someone to save her, where were you?”
I looked between them.
I'd heard Mthente mention his sister only once.
He'd never explained what happened to her.
May you like
Then his mother said something that made the entire homestead seem to fall silent.
“Tell your girlfriend what happened the night your sister never came home.”
